Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

We are not what we think, or what we say, or how we feel. We are what we do. (Location 163)

Note: we are what we do

“When all is said and done, more is said than done.” We are drowning in words, many of which turn out to be lies we tell ourselves or others. (Location 165)

Tags: waffle, quotes

Note: people talk more than they actually do

Most of the heartbreak that life contains is a result of ignoring the reality that past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior. (Location 167)

Note: Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour

The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. Think about it. If we have useful work, sustaining relationships, and the promise of pleasure, it is hard to be unhappy. (Location 177)

Tags: favorite, happiness

Note: Components of happiness: 1) Something to do 2) Someone to love & 3) Something to look forward to

Think about the traffic problems if we all liked the same thing. (Location 181)

The ways in which people come together and choose each other place a great emphasis on the potent combination of sexual attraction and a sort of enlightened self-interest that evaluates the other person on a series of qualities and achievements: education, earning potential, shared interests, trustworthiness, and philosophy of life. Each person’s assessment of a prospective mate using these standards creates a certain set of expectations. It is the failure of these expectations over time that causes relationships to dissolve. (Location 315)

The perfect is the enemy of the good. (Location 460)

Tags: execution

Note: Don't aim for perfecting, aim for done!

What we fear is our own demise, and indications of aging are simply unwanted reminders of our mortality. By rejecting old people and the signs of age in ourselves we are simply reacting to a natural fear of extinction that has preoccupied human beings forever. This is the cosmic joke. Fate or God or whoever is running this show appears to have said, “I will give you dominion over all other forms of life. BUT you will be the only species able to contemplate your death.” (Location 647)

Note: we reject old age and the signs of ageing because we are afraid of death

And what is psychotherapy? It is goal-directed conversation in the service of change. That’s what people who come for help want: change. Usually they want to alter the way they’re feeling: anxious, sad, disoriented, angry, empty, adrift. Our feelings depend mainly on our interpretation of what is happening to us and around us—our attitudes. It is not so much what occurs, but how we define events and respond that determines how we feel. The thing that characterizes those who struggle emotionally is that they have lost, or believe they have lost, their ability to choose those behaviors that will make them happy. (Location 722)

In a society based on consumption, the concept of instant gratification is pervasive. Advertising presents us constantly with images that suggest that happiness can be ours through ownership of material goods. Attractive people with lots of friends are shown enjoying themselves in a way that suggests that we might join them if we buy the correct car, the right house, the proper beer. One effect of these ads is to produce dissatisfaction with what we have and how we look. Another is to suggest the availability of a rapid antidote to our discontent: spending money. Is it any wonder that almost all of us are in debt? (Location 837)

Tags: consumerism

Note: Advertisements lead us to believe that spending money will bring us happiness

Often it is the dalliances and the detours that define us. (Location 899)

Note: Often our detours and wanderings come to define us

We live in a fear-promoting society. It is the business of advertisers to stoke our anxieties about what we have, what we look like, and whether we are sexually adequate. A dissatisfied consumer is more apt to buy. Likewise, the purveyors of television news attempt to hold our interest by scaring us with stories of violent crime, natural disasters, threatening weather, and environmental hazards (“Is your water safe to drink? Details at eleven.”). (Location 1220)

Tags: media, fear

Note: Advertisers and the media intentionally induce fear

“The good news is that life expectancy is increasing; the bad news is that the extra years are tacked on at the end.” (Location 1406)

Tags: quotes

We live in a culture in which the sense of being wronged is pervasive. If every misfortune can be blamed on someone else, we are relieved of the difficult task of examining our own contributory behavior or just accepting the reality that life is and has always been full of adversity. Most of all, by placing responsibility outside ourselves we miss out on the healing knowledge that what happens to us is not nearly as important as the attitude we adopt in response. (Location 1550)

Tags: issue6, favorite, responsibility