That is classic deal making. You start with a big first demand and negotiate back to your side of the middle. (Location 216)
Tags: negotiation
Note: .negotiation
Persuasion is all about the tools and techniques of changing people’s minds, with or without facts and reason. (Location 342)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion persuasion is about changing peoples minds
PERSUASION TIP 2 Humans are hardwired to reciprocate favors. If you want someone’s cooperation in the future, do something for that person today. (Location 349)
Tags: reciprication
Note: .reciprication
PERSUASION TIP 3 Persuasion is effective even when the subject recognizes the technique. Everyone knows that stores list prices at $9.99 because $10.00 sounds like too much. It still works. (Location 353)
You saw Trump use the intentional wrongness persuasion play over and over, and almost always to good effect. The method goes like this: Make a claim that is directionally accurate but has a big exaggeration or factual error in it. Wait for people to notice the exaggeration or error and spend endless hours talking about how wrong it is. When you dedicate focus and energy to an idea, you remember it. And the things that have the most mental impact on you will irrationally seem as though they are high in priority, even if they are not. That’s persuasion. (Location 358)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion
If I had boringly predicted that Trump would win the election, without any odds attached to it, the public would have easily shrugged it off as another minor celebrity’s irrelevant opinion. But if I make you pause to argue with me in your mind about the accuracy of the 98 percent estimate, it deepens my persuasion on the main point—that Trump has a surprisingly high likelihood of winning. I picked 98 percent as my Trump prediction because Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight.com was saying 2 percent. I did that for branding and persuasion purposes. It is easier to remember my prediction both because of the way it fits with Silver’s prediction and for its audacity, which people perceived as “wrongness.” (Location 363)
Tags: persuasion
PERSUASION TIP 4 The things that you think about the most will irrationally rise in importance in your mind. (Location 385)
Master Persuaders move your energy to the topics that help them, independent of facts and reason. (Location 391)
PERSUASION TIP 5 An intentional “error” in the details of your message will attract criticism. The attention will make your message rise in importance—at least in people’s minds—simply because everyone is talking about it. (Location 399)
If you have ever tried to talk someone out of their political beliefs by providing facts, you know it doesn’t work. That’s because people think they have their own facts. Better facts. And if they know they don’t have better facts, they change the subject. People are not easily switched from one political opinion to another. And facts are weak persuasion. (Location 417)
Tags: facts
Note: .facts
For more science on the topic of how intentional “mistakes” can aid in memory retention, I recommend the book Impossible to Ignore, by Dr. Carmen Simon. The gist of it is that you need to surprise the brain or make it work a little extra to form memories. Our brains automatically delete our routine memories fairly quickly. Most of us don’t know what we were doing on this day a year ago. But we easily remember things that violate our expectations. (Location 442)
Tags: mistakes, memory
Note: we need to surprise the brain to make it remember. intentional mistakes can make the brain remember better
A good general rule is that people are more influenced by visual persuasion, emotion, repetition, and simplicity than they are by details and facts. (Location 445)
Tags: memory
Note: .memory visual, simple , repitition
Filter I use the word “filter” to describe the way people frame their observations of reality. The key idea behind a filter is that it does not necessarily give its user an accurate view of reality. The human brain is not capable of comprehending truth at a deep level. (Location 468)
Tags: filter
Note: .filter how people frame their view of reality
The High-Ground Maneuver The High-Ground Maneuver is a persuasion method that involves elevating a debate from the details on which people disagree to a higher concept on which everyone agrees. (Location 472)
Pacing and Leading Pacing involves matching the person you plan to persuade in as many ways as possible, including the way the person thinks, speaks, breathes, and moves. Pacing builds trust because people see you as being the same as them. After pacing, a persuader can then lead, and the subject will be comfortable following. (Location 479)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion
Thinking Past the Sale Thinking past the sale is a persuasion technique in which a subject is prompted to imagine what happens after a decision has been made, to bias the person toward making the decision. (Location 488)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion
The key concept of a filter is that it is not intended to give you an accurate view of reality. All it is supposed to do is give you better results than other filters. And I propose that the best way to objectively determine the usefulness of a filter is by asking if it makes you happy and also does a good job of predicting the future. (Location 567)
Tags: filtering
Note: .filtering
When our feelings turn on, our sense of reason shuts off. The freaky part is that we don’t recognize when it is happening to us. We think we are reasonable and rational most of the time. But what hypnotists have long known, and scientists have in recent years confirmed, is that our decisions are often made without appeal to the rational parts of our brains. We literally make our decisions first and then create elaborate rationalizations for them after the fact. (Location 665)
cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time; performs an action that is contradictory to their beliefs, ideas, or values; or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. (Location 700)
PERSUASION TIP 7 It is easy to fit completely different explanations to the observed facts. Don’t trust any interpretation of reality that isn’t able to predict. (Location 795)
Tags: predicitions
Note: Don’t trust an analysis which can’t predict
If you don’t understand confirmation bias, you might think new information can change people’s opinions. As a trained persuader, I know that isn’t the case, at least when emotions are involved. People don’t change opinions about emotional topics just because some information proved their opinion to be nonsense. Humans aren’t wired that way. (Location 896)
Climate science is a polarizing topic (ironically). So let me just generalize the point to say that compared with the average citizen, trained persuaders are less impressed by experts. To put it another way, if an ordinary idiot doubts a scientific truth, the most likely explanation for that situation is that the idiot is wrong. But if a trained persuader calls BS on a scientific truth, pay attention. (Location 973)
PERSUASION TIP 8 People are more influenced by the direction of things than the current state of things. (Location 995)
Trump and Pence recognized these openings and took them. Political writers will interpret this situation as routine credit grabbing and exaggerated claims. But business writers will recognize Trump’s strategy as what I will call the new-CEO move. Smart CEOs try to create visible victories within days of taking the job, to set the tone. It’s all about the psychology. (Location 1020)
Tags: ceo
Note: .ceo new ceos look for visible victories within days of starting
The reality one learns while practicing hypnosis is that we make our decisions first—for irrational reasons—and we rationalize them later as having something to do with facts and reason. (Location 1047)
PERSUASION TIP 9 Display confidence (either real or faked) to improve your persuasiveness. You have to believe yourself, or at least appear as if you do, in order to get anyone else to believe. (Location 1065)
Tags: persuasion, confidence
Note: display confidence in order to get others to believe
PERSUASION TIP 11 Guess what people are thinking—at the very moment they think it—and call it out. If you are right, the subject bonds to you for being like-minded. (Location 1133)
PERSUASION TIP 12 If you want the audience to embrace your content, leave out any detail that is both unimportant and would give people a reason to think, That’s not me. Design into your content enough blank spaces so people can fill them in with whatever makes them happiest. (Location 1163)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion leave out any details that could make people think they are different
You don’t know the name of Dilbert’s company or what industry it is in. You also don’t know its location. All of that omission is intentional. It is a trick I learned from hypnosis class. I leave out any details that would cause readers to feel they are different from the characters in the comic. If Dilbert had a last name, it might tell you something about his ancestry. If you knew for sure that Dilbert’s background differed from your own in some big way, it could be an irrational trigger to make you feel less connected. Likewise, if you knew Dilbert’s company was in a specific industry that was different from yours, you might feel less connected. By intentionally omitting those details in the design of the Dilbert comic, I make it easier for people to think, Dilbert’s job is just like mine. (Location 1167)
if you accuse an innocent person of a crime, the accused generally responds by immediately denying the accusation and asking what is wrong with you for even asking. But the first reaction of guilty people, usually, is to ask what evidence you have. They need to know what you know so they can either double down on the lie or confess. Liars confess only if the evidence against them is airtight. (Location 1176)
Tags: lying
Note: .lying liers ask what evidence you have.innocent people say its outrageous
A common misconception is that because nice guys seem to finish last and jerky guys seem to get the women, being a jerk must have some sort of seduction advantage. It doesn’t. That’s an illusion caused by the fact that people who have other advantages—such as wealth or beauty—have the freedom to act like jerks because they can attract mates no matter what. If you don’t understand what motivates people at a deep level, you might be fooled by your observation that jerks often do well in romance. If being mean were useful to getting sex, you would see ugly people doing it more often with great success. But keep your eyes open and you’ll notice that attractive people can get away with being mean, and ugly people can’t. Attractiveness is the key correlation. (Location 1191)
Note: It isnt that jerks get the girl because they are mean, they may have other traits like wealth or beauty which enable them to br jerks and still get the gi
On a recent TV interview, the host (I forget who) tried to label Trump a “whiner.” But instead of denying the label, Trump embraced it and said he was the best whiner of all time, and the country needs just that. That’s a psychological trick I call “taking the high ground.” The low ground in this case is the unimportant question of whether “whiner” is a fair label for Trump. But Trump cleverly took the high ground, embraced the label, and used it to set an anchor in your mind that he is the loudest voice for change. That’s some clown genius for you. (Location 1407)
The persuasion stack isn’t science, so I recommend viewing it as directional. Big fear Identity Smaller fear Aspirations Habit Analogies Reason Hypocrisy Word-thinking (Location 1420)
Tags: persuasion
Note: .persuasion
visual persuasion is stronger than oral persuasion. (Location 1425)
Tags: visual
Note: .visual visual persuasion is more powerful than oral persuasion
PERSUASION TIP 13 Use the High-Ground Maneuver to frame yourself as the wise adult in the room. It forces others to join you or be framed as the small thinkers. (Location 1468)
Notice I started by fully embracing the criticism from the other side. If you debate the criticism, you stay in a child frame. If you accept it and make a case for learning and improving, you move to the adult high ground and leave the children behind. Whenever you see claims of hypocrisy, you are also likely to see an opportunity for the High-Ground Maneuver. (Location 1470)
You can use an analogy to give the listener a memory structure that you then embellish with details. (Location 1526)
Tags: memory, analogy
Note: .analogy using an analogy gives others a memory structure which you can then add details to
PERSUASION TIP 14 When you attack a person’s belief, the person under attack is more likely to harden his belief than to abandon it, even if your argument is airtight. (Location 1528)
Unfortunately, most people believe that analogies are one of the best ways to persuade. That fact goes far in explaining why it seems that every debate on the Internet ends with a Hitler analogy. The phenomenon is so common it has its own name: Godwin’s law. (Location 1530)
The human brain forms a bias for the things it hears first. If we accept the thing we hear first, it tends to harden into an irrational belief. And then it is difficult to dislodge. If your friends are reinforcing the idea too, it becomes hard as steel. (Location 1603)
Tags: anchor
Note: What we hear first matters a lot.
The Hitler analogy was effective not because analogies are logical or persuasive but because any association of two things is persuasive. If you compare any two things long enough, their qualities start to merge in our irrational minds. The illusion created by analogies is that if two situations have anything in common, perhaps they have lots in common. Trump has a few things in common with Hitler—as do we all—and that makes some of his critics irrationally believe he will also invade Poland. (Location 1608)
Tags: association
Note: .association
Fear can be deeply persuasive. But not all fear-related persuasion is equal. To maximize your fear persuasion, follow these guidelines. A big fear is more persuasive than a small one. A personal fear is more persuasive than a generic national problem. A fear that you think about most often is stronger than one you rarely think about. A fear with a visual component is scarier than one without. A fear you have experienced firsthand (such as a crime) is scarier than a statistic. (Location 1652)
Tags: fear
Note: .fear fear is a powerful persuasion tool
The people on your team were the ones helping to keep you alive. The people on every other team were trying to kill you or take your resources. We evolved to feel safer with, and to generally prefer, people who are similar to us in any substantial way. This instinct to support our own team is the reason major sports are big business. It makes no logical sense to support your local team just because it is local. But we do. It is a reflex. (Location 1667)
Tags: identity
Note: .identity we have a tendency to support others like us
One of the ways I make myself more persuasive is by telling people I’m a trained hypnotist and that I am familiar with all of the tools of influence. I learned in hypnosis class that it is easier to persuade people when they expect to be persuaded. If your persuasion skills are viewed as credible, people will persuade themselves that you can persuade them, and that makes everything easier. Credibility, of any sort, is persuasive. That’s why doctors and lawyers post their degrees on the wall where everyone can see them. That’s why high-end consultants wear expensive business suits. When you signal your credentials, people expect you to have more influence over them. That’s how we’re wired. We defer to experts almost automatically. (Location 1685)
Tags: suits, influence
Note: .influence people are easier to influence when they see your credentials
PERSUASION TIP 16 It is easier to persuade a person who believes you are persuasive. (Location 1694)
The best way to think of pre-suasion is that it creates an emotional state that bleeds over from unrelated topics to the topic of your persuasion. If the American flag makes you feel patriotic, and patriotism is more associated in your mind with Republicans (irrationally or not), that’s good enough to persuade. (Location 1722)
Brand yourself as a winner. If people expect you to win, they will be biased toward making it happen. (Location 1734)
Tags: win
Note: brand yourself as a winner
Meet in the most impressive space you can control. This creates a physical and visual impression that broadcasts your power, talent, and success. (Location 1735)
Tags: pitch
Note: .pitch meet in an impressive place
Bring high energy. People with high energy are more persuasive. We’re all drawn to energy. (Location 1740)
Tags: energy
Note: .energy
People prefer certainty over uncertainty, even when the certainty is wrong. (Location 1772)
Tags: certainty
The Power of Positive Thinking. (Location 1788)
Tags: toread
Note: .toread
In business, always present your ideas in the context of alternatives that are clearly worse. Don’t just sell your proposed solution; slime all the other options with badness. (Location 2083)
Tags: framing, comparison, selling
Note: Compare your solution to worse alternatives
PERSUASION TIP 20 People are more persuaded by contrast than by facts or reason. Choose your contrasts wisely. (Location 2129)
Tags: persuasion
Note: Use contrasts to good effect to persuade people
As a general rule, I try to fill my brain with optimistic thoughts in order to crowd out the bad ones that sometimes slip in. This is a form of self-hypnosis, using the power of association. The positive thoughts lift my energy, which in turn lifts my mood, and even my immune system. (Location 2149)
Tags: positivity
Note: .positivity
You’ve probably heard it said that walking a dog is a great way to meet people. That’s partly because dogs have such a powerful association with happiness, at least for dog lovers. If you love dogs, it is hard to be unhappy when you meet a new one. All of the good feelings you have had from every past dog transfer automatically to the new dog and its owner. (Location 2157)
Tags: dog
Note: .dog
Persuaders know that humans put more importance on the first part of a sentence than the second part. Our first impressions are hard to dislodge. And the first impression of those tweets—lots of them—involved imagining Trump winning the election. (Location 2258)
Tags: persuasion
Note: we put more focus on the start of a sentence than the end
PERSUASION TIP 23 What you say is important, but it is never as important as what people think you are thinking. (Location 2421)
PERSUASION TIP 24 If you can frame your preferred strategy as two ways to win and no way to lose, almost no one will disagree with your suggested path because it is a natural High-Ground Maneuver. (Location 2720)
Tags: framing
PERSUASION TIP 26 Repetition is persuasion. Also, repetition is persuasion. And have I mentioned that repetition is persuasion? (Location 2796)
Simple explanations look more credible than complicated ones. (Location 2818)
Tags: simplify
Note: Simplify your explanations to seem more credible
As I keep saying—because repetition of this point is useful—you can force-fit lots of different interpretations to the past, and they all work. I know at least three people who believe they were the key reason Trump won. And they all have strong claims. (Location 3471)
They Got It Wrong: History: All the Facts that Turned Out to Be Myths (Emma Marriott) (Location 3569)
Tags: toread
Note: .toread
The Design of Everyday Things (Don Norman) (Location 3575)
Tags: toread
Note: .toread
Win Your Case: How to Present, Persuade, and Prevail—Every Place, Every Time (Gerry Spence) (Location 3585)
Tags: toread
Note: .toread
How to Win Friends & Influence People (Dale Carnegie) (Better yet, take a Dale Carnegie class near you. It will change your life. Trust me.) (Location 3587)
Tags: toexplore
Note: .toexplore
How to Write a Good Advertisement (Victor O. Schwab) The Secret of Selling Anything (Harry Browne) (Location 3588)
Tags: toread
Note: .toread
Regular readers of this blog know about philosopher Nick Bostrom’s idea that it is far more likely we are simulations created by an advanced species than that we are the original species itself. The reasoning here is that every sufficiently advanced species will create multiple simulations in which the simulated creatures believe they are real. So the odds are high that we are one of the many simulations, not the original species that created them. (Location 3626)
Tags: simulation
Note: .simulation