The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

“What good is the house, the cars, the place at the beach, or any of the rest of it if your wife doesn’t love you?” Do you understand what he was really saying? “More than anything, I want to be loved by my wife.” (Location 184)

Tags: love

Note: Being loved is more important than material wealth

the waves of reality begin to separate them. They fall out of love, and at that point either they withdraw, separate, divorce, and set off in search of a new in-love experience, or they begin the hard work of learning to love each other without the euphoria of the in-love obsession. (Location 300)

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” (Location 348)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment

“The tongue has the power of life and death.” (Location 351)

Tags: quotes

Note: .quote

verbal compliments are far greater motivators than nagging words. (Location 388)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment

life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments but in relationships. (Location 401)

Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use. (Location 436)

Note: Tone of voice is just as important as the words used

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful present. (Location 456)

Tags: favorite

Note: Dont let yesterday pollute today

Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. (Location 490)

Quality conversation is quite different from the first love language. Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing. If I am sharing my love for you by means of quality time and we are going to spend that time in conversation, it means I will focus on drawing you out, listening sympathetically to what you have to say. I will ask questions, not in a badgering manner but with a genuine desire to understand your thoughts, feelings, and desires. (Location 661)

Ask your spouse for a list of five activities that he would enjoy doing with you—don’t assume you know. Make plans to do one of them each month for the next five months. (Location 808)

Each of us has an individualized perception of the purposes of money, and we have various emotions associated with spending it. Some of us have a spending orientation. We feel good about ourselves when we are spending money. Others have a saving and investing perspective. We feel good about ourselves when we are saving money and investing it wisely. (Location 895)

Tags: money

Note: Everyone has a different attitude to money

Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts. (Location 929)

If the physical presence of your spouse is important to you, I urge you to verbalize that to your spouse. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Location 932)

Note: Say your thoughts

Keep a “Gift Idea Notebook.” Every time you hear your spouse say: “I really like that,” or “Oh, I would really like to have one of those!” write it down in your notebook. (Location 1013)

Tags: favorite

Note: Keep a note of potential gifts

Offer the gift of presence during an especially hard time in your spouse’s life—perhaps if he’s caring for an elderly parent or she’s dealing with a job crisis. (Location 1021)

Dave, I want you to list three or four things that if Mary chose to do them would make you feel loved when you walk into the house in the afternoon. (Location 1123)

Note: Make a like of important service items

Ask your spouse to make a list of ten things he or she would like for you to do during the next month. Then ask your spouse to prioritize those by numbering them 1–10, with 1 being the most important and 10 being least important. Use this list to plan your strategy for a month of love. (Location 1214)

Tags: favorite

Note: Make a list of the most important acts of service


The need for significance is the emotional force behind much of our behavior. Life is driven by the desire for success. We want our lives to count for something. We have our own idea of what it means to be significant, and we work hard to reach our goals. (Location 1641)

Note: The desire to be significant drives much of our behaviour