How to Talk to Anyone
How to Talk to Anyone

How to Talk to Anyone

Most of the studies simply confirmed Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People.3 His wisdom for the ages said success lay in smiling, showing interest in other people, and making them feel good about themselves. ‘That’s no surprise,’ I thought. It’s as true today as it was over sixty years ago. (Location 175)

Tags: favorite

Note: Smile, show interest in others and make them feel good about themselves.

if you wanted to portray somebody really cool - ‘Just give ’em great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.’ It’s the ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody. (Location 242)

Tags: posture, smile

the people perceived to have the most credibility and integrity were just ever so slower to smile.

Then, when they did, their smiles seemed to seep into every crevice of their faces and envelop them like a slow flood. Thus I call the following technique The Flooding Smile. (Location 300)

Tags: smile

Note: be a little slower to smile

The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them. (Location 306)

Tags: smile

Note: .smile wait a split second before smiling

Technique 2: Sticky eyes Pretend your eyes are glued to your Conversation Partner’s with sticky warm toffee. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey toffee until the tiny string finally breaks. (Location 357)

Tags: eyecontact

Note: Keep eye contact!

The secret to making people like you is showing how much you like them! (Location 524)

Hello old friend When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). (Location 551)

Make a mood match Before opening your mouth, take a ‘voice sample’ of your listener to detect his or her state of mind. (Location 809)

Note: Match the other persons mood

Here’s my ‘anything, except liverwurst’ on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint, BLAM, people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance’s 100 per cent sampling of you so far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they know? If your first comment is a complaint, you’re a griper. If your first words are rude, you’re a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you’re a stinker. Open and shut. (Location 862)

Tags: opener

Note: Don’t complain or be rude. Easy.

What’s a Whatzit? A Whatzit is anything you wear or carry that is unusual – a unique pin, an interesting purse, a strange tie, an amusing hat. A Whatzit is any object that draws people’s attention and inspires them to approach you and ask, ‘Uh, what’s that?’ Your Whatzit can be as subtle or overt as your personality and the occasion permit. (Location 874)

Always wear a Whatzit Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you the delightful stranger across the crowded room an excuse to approach. ‘Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your … what IS that?’ (Location 895)

Tags: opening, clothes

Note: .clothes .opening wear something remarkable

Whoozat? Whoozat is the most effective, least used (by nonpoliticians) meeting-people device ever contrived. Simply ask the party giver to make the introduction, or pump for a few facts that you can immediately turn into icebreakers. (Location 911)

Tags: opening

Note: .opening

Never, ever, give just a one-sentence response to the question, ‘Where are you from?’

Give the asker some fuel for his tank, some fodder for his trough. Give the hungry communicator something to conversationally nibble on.

All it takes is an extra sentence or two about your city – some interesting fact, some witty observation – to hook the asker into the conversation. (Location 943)

Tags: conversation

Note: Always give more than a 1 sentence answer, give people fuel to continue the conversation

Never the naked job When asked the inevitable ‘And what do YOU do,’ you may think ‘I’m an economist,’ ‘an educator,’ ‘an engineer’ is giving enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you might as well be saying ‘I’m a paleontologist,’ ‘psychoanalyst,’ or ‘pornographer. (Location 1012)

Tags: opener

Note: Give a good explainer of your job

When they introduce people, they buy an insurance policy on the conversation with a few simple add-ons: ‘Susan, I’d like you to meet John. John has a wonderful boat we took a trip on last summer. John, this is Susan Smith. Susan is editor-in-chief of Shoestring Gourmet magazine.’ (Location 1032)

Tags: favorite, opener

Note: Add extra information about the person you are introducing

told Dan about how pleased Diane was to meet him yet how little she learned about his life. Dan simply replied, ‘Well, when I meet someone, I learn so much more if I ask about their life. I always try to turn the spotlight on the other person.’ Truly confident people often do this. They know they grow more by listening than talking. Obviously, they also captivate the talker. (Location 1097)

Tags: talk

Note: .talk ask about the other persons life

Encore! is the name of the technique you can use to request a repeat story from a prospect, potential employer, or valued acquaintance. While the two of you are chatting with a group of people, simply turn to him and say, ‘John, I bet everyone would love to hear about the time you caught that thirty-pound striped bass.’ (Location 1198)

Tags: talking

Note: As someone to repeat their great story

Ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive When first meeting someone, lock your closet door and save your skeletons for later. You and your new good friend can invite the skeletons out, have a good laugh, and dance over their bones later in the relationship. But now’s the time, as the old song says, to ‘ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive and elim-i-nate the neg-a-tive.’ (Location 1226)

The latest news … don’t leave home without it The last move to make before leaving for the party – even after you’ve given yourself final approval in the mirror – is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when it’s surrounded by egg-on-face. (Location 1252)

Tags: news

Note: .news have a quick scan of the latest news before A networking event

85 per cent of one’s success in life is directly due to communications skills. (Location 1266)

Tags: communication

Note: .communication

The right way to find out So how do you find out what someone does for a living? (I thought you’d never ask.) You simply practise the following eight words. All together now: ‘How … do … you … spend … most … of … your … time?’ (Location 1297)

Tags: favorite, communication, talk

Note: how do you spend most of your time

Putting the benefit statement in your verbal Nutshell Resume brings your job to life and makes it memorable. (Location 1356)

Tags: cv, career, favorite, job

Note: .job i help innovative corporates and Startups to build great tech products.

Technique 25: The nutshell resume Just as job-seeking top managers roll a different written resume off their printers for each position they’re applying for, let a different true story about your professional life roll off your tongue for each listener. Before responding to ‘What do you do?’ ask yourself, ‘What possible interest could this person have in my answer? Could he refer business to me? Buy from me? Hire me? Marry my sister? Become my buddy?’ (Location 1367)

Tags: cv, career

Note: .career

Your personal thesaurus Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they fit. If you like them, start making permanent replacements. Remember, only fifty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and you’ll be in the verbally elite. (Location 1419)

Here’s the technique I call Kill the Quick ‘Me, Too!

Whenever people mention an activity or interest you share, let them enjoy discussing their passion. Then, when the time is right, casually mention you share their interest. (Location 1436)

Note: Wait before saying “me too”

Comm-YOU-nication also enriches your social conversation. Gentlemen, say a lady likes your suit. Which woman gives you warmer feelings? The woman who says, ‘I like your suit.’ Or the one who says, ‘YOU look great in that suit.’ (Location 1486)

Tags: favorite, compliment

Note: .compliment

Sure enough, whenever I asked, ‘Could YOU tell me where …’ people were more pleasant and helpful than when I started the question with I or Where. (Location 1502)

Tags: communication, favorite

Note: Use the word “you” when taking to others. It makes it more personal.

Comm-YOU-nication Start every appropriate sentence with YOU. It immediately grabs your listener’s attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into ‘me’ terms. When you sprinkle YOU as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners find it an irresistible spice. (Location 1509)

Technique 30: Don’t touch a cliché with a ten-foot pole Be on guard. Don’t use any clichés when chatting with Big Winners. Don’t even touch one with a ten-foot pole. Never? Not even when hell freezes over? Not unless you want to sound dumb as a doorknob. (Location 1571)

Tags: cliche

As every politician and trial lawyer knows, neat phrases make powerful weapons. (If you’re not careful, your enemies will later use them against you – read my lips!) (Location 1592)

What to Say When You’re Dying on the Platform. (Location 1603)

If someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, ‘Could you save that question until I’m finished – and well on my way home?’ (Location 1606)

Tags: favorite, quote, question

Note: .question .quote

‘as sure as your shadow will follow you.’ (Location 1612)

Tags: favorite, quote

Note: .quote

Technique 33: Trash the teasing A dead giveaway of a little cat is his or her proclivity to tease. An innocent joke at someone else’s expense may get you a cheap laugh. Nevertheless, the Big Cats will have the last one. Because you’ll bang your head against the glass ceiling they construct to keep little cats from stepping on their paws. Never, ever, make a joke at anyone else’s expense. You’ll wind up paying for it, dearly. (Location 1679)

Before throwing out any news, keep your receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh, or a sob. Not according to how you feel about the news, but how the receiver will take it. (Location 1705)

Tags: communication

Note: .communication think about the receiver when giving bad news and have empathy

Technique 35: The broken record Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response. Use precisely the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to flick them off. (Location 1725)

Note: Repeat a message in the same tone when you doont want to answer the question

Technique 36: Big shots don’t slobber People who are VIPs in their own right don’t slobber over celebrities. When you are chatting with one, don’t compliment her work, simply say how much pleasure or insight it’s given you. If you do single out any one of the star’s accomplishments, make sure it’s a recent one, not a memory that’s getting yellow in her scrapbook. (Location 1761)

Tags: talk

Note: .talk comment on the works effect on you rather than the work itself

Technique 37: Never the naked thank you Never let the words thank you stand alone. From A to Z, always follow it with for : from ‘Thank you for asking’ to ‘Thank you for zipping me up.’ (Location 1785)

Tags: favorite, communication

Note: .communication follow thank you with for X

Technique 39: Learn a little Gobbledygook Big Winners speak Gobbledygook as a second language. What is Gobbledygook? It’s the language of other professions. (Location 1912)

Note: Learn the lingo for other professions

Baring their hot button Before jumping blindly into a bevy of bookbinders or a drove of dentists, find out what the hot issues are in their fields. Every industry has burning concerns the outside world knows little about. Ask your informant to bare the industry buzz. Then, to heat the conversation up, push those buttons. (Location 1943)

Tags: talk

Note: .talk learn the hot topics of other industries

Technique 41: Read their rags Is your next big client a golfer, runner, swimmer, surfer, or skier? Are you attending a social function filled with accountants or Zen Buddhists – or anything between? There are untold thousands of monthly magazines serving every imaginable interest. You can dish up more information than you’ll ever need to sound like an insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve their racket. (Location 1999)

Note: Read what others read to relate to their interests

When you want to give someone the subliminal feeling you’re just alike, use their words, not yours. Suppose you are selling a car to a young mother who tells you she is concerned about safety because she has a young toddler. (Location 2189)

Tags: selling, favorite, talk

Note: .talk use the other persons terms

Technique 45: Echoing Echoing is a simple linguistic technique that packs a powerful wallop. Listen to the speaker’s arbitrary choice of nouns, verbs, prepositions, adjectives – and echo them back. Hearing their words come out of your mouth creates subliminal rapport. It makes them feel you share their values, their attitudes, their interests, their experiences. (Location 2228)

Note: Echo the terms used. Eg. Job vs career

Technique 46: Potent imaging Does your customer have a garden? Talk about sowing the seeds for success. Does your boss own a boat? Tell him or her about a concept that will hold water or stay afloat. Maybe he is a private pilot? Talk about a concept really taking off. (Location 2278)

Tags: chat

Note: .chat use images that relate to the other persons interests

Technique 49: The premature we Create the sensation of intimacy with someone even if you’ve met just moments before. Scramble the signals in their psyche by skipping conversational levels one and two, and cutting right to levels three and four. Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words we, us, and our. (Location 2393)

Tags: chat

Note: .chat use the term we early

compliments are the most widely used and thoroughly endorsed of all getting-what-you-want techniques. (Location 2440)

Tags: compliments

Note: .compliments compliments are the most common technique to get what you want

Grapevine glory A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. (Location 2478)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment give a compliment about someone that you know will get back to them

Technique 52: Carrier pigeon kudos People immediately grow a beak and metamorphosize themselves into carrier pigeons when there’s bad news. (It’s called gossip.) Instead, become a carrier of good news and kudos. (Location 2500)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment bring good news and praise to others

Technique 53: Implied magnificence Throw a few comments into your conversation that presuppose something positive about the person you’re talking with. But be careful. (Location 2526)

Tags: compliments

Note: .compliments

Technique 54: Accidental adulation Become an undercover complimenter. Stealthily sneak praise into the parenthetical part of your sentence. (Location 2546)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment

Technique 55: The killer compliment Whenever you are talking with a stranger you’d like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, specific, and unique quality he or she has. At the end of the conversation, look them right in the eye. Say their name and proceed to curl their toes with the Killer Compliment. (Location 2577)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment be specific in complimenting a unique feature

The killer compliment user’s manual Just like a cannon, if you don’t use the Killer Compliment correctly, it can backfire. Here’s the user’s manual that comes with the mighty missile. Rule 1: Deliver your Killer Compliment to the recipient in private. If you are standing with a group of four or five people and you praise one woman for being fit, every other woman feels like a barrel of lard. (Location 2580)

Tags: compliment

Note: .compliment dont give the killer compliment in a group

Technique 57: The knee-jerk ‘wow!’ Quick as a blink, you must praise people the moment they a finish a feat. In a wink, like a knee-jerk reaction say, ‘You were terrific!’ (Location 2640)

Tags: compliment

Note: compliment quickly after something good

Technique 58: Boomeranging Just as a boomerang flies right back to the thrower, let compliments boomerang right back to the giver. Like the French, quickly murmur something that expresses ‘That’s very kind of you.’ (Location 2682)

Tags: compliments

Note: .compliments

Technique 60: Talking gestures Think of yourself as the star of a personal radio drama every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging as you are, you must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into noise, and all your gestures into something your listener can hear. You must replace your gestures with talk. Then punch up the whole act 30 per cent! (Location 2786)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall

Technique 61: Name shower People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to keep their attention. Your caller’s name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person. (Location 2803)

Tags: name, phonecall

Note: .phonecall .name use a persons name more frequently on a phone call

Technique 62: Oh wow, it’s you! Don’t answer the phone with an ‘I’m just sooo happy all the time’ attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. (Location 2859)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall be happy after they outline their reason for calling

Technique 63: The sneaky screen If you must screen your calls, instruct your staff to first say cheerfully, ‘Oh yes, I’ll put you right through. May I tell her who’s calling?’ If the party has already identified himself, it’s ‘Oh of course, Mr Whoozit. I’ll put you right through.’ When the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr or Ms Bigwig is unavailable, callers don’t take it personally and never feel screened. They fall for it every time. Just like I did. (Location 2879)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall

Technique 64: Salute the spouse Whenever you are calling someone’s home, always identify and greet the person who answers. Whenever you call someone’s office more than once or twice, make friends with the secretary. Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIP’s opinion of you. Home advice: Salute the Spouse. Office advice: Salute the Secretary. (Location 2903)

Note: Salute the spouse or secretary

Technique 65: What colour is your time? No matter how urgent you think your call, always begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the What Colour Is Your Time? device or simply ask, ‘Is this a convenient time for you to talk?’ When you ask about timing first, you’ll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partner’s sands of time. You’ll never get a ‘No!’ just because your timing wasn’t right. (Location 2941)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall always ask if now is a good time

Salesfolks, wait for the green light A note here for salespeople. If you ask a prospect if he or she has time to talk and the answer is ‘Not really, but tell me what’s on your mind,’ DON’T! Do not make your sales pitch while they’re red. Do not talk with them when they’re yellow. Wait until they’re green, very green. (Location 2946)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall if people say it isnt a great time than wait for a better time rather than pushing through

Technique 67: Your ten-second audition While dialling, clear your throat. If an answering machine picks up, pretend the beep is a big Broadway producer saying ‘Nexxxt.’ Now you’re on. This is Your Ten-Second Audition to prove you are worthy of a quick callback. (Location 3021)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall

Technique 68: The ho-hum caper Instead of using your party’s name, casually let the pronoun he or she roll off your tongue. Forget ‘Uh, may I speak to Ms Bigshot please?’ Just announce, ‘Hi, Bob Smith here, is she in?’ Tossing the familiar she off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies. (Location 3044)

Technique 69: ‘I hear your other line’ When you hear a phone in the background, stop speaking – in midsentence if necessary – and say ‘I hear your other line’ (or your dog barking, your baby crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has to attend to it. Whether she does or not, she’ll know you’re a Top Communicator for asking. (Location 3058)

Tags: phonecall

Note: .phonecall if you hear background noise, suggest the person take care of it if they need to

Technique 71: Munching or mingling ... Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not expect to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come. (Location 3197)

Be the chooser, not the choosee. The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a rehearsal for the big event. (Location 3254)

Tags: networking

Note: Get used to choosing who you want to talk to at events, rather than sitting back and letting others approach you

Technique 74: Come-hither hands Be a human magnet, not a human repellant. When standing at a gathering, arrange your body in an open position – especially your arms and hands. People instinctively gravitate toward open palms and wrists seductively arranged in the ‘come hither’ position. They shy away from knuckles in the ‘get lost or I’ll punch you’ position. Use your wrists and palms to say ‘I have nothing to hide,’ ‘I accept you and what you’re saying,’ or ‘I find you sexy.’ (Location 3290)

Tags: posture

Well, movies may have changed. Human nature hasn’t. Everyone feels like the star of a 1940s movie. Every trivial event in their lives is momentous. ‘There’s ME. Then there’s the rest of the world.’ (Location 3309)

Note: Everyone believes events in their life are more important

‘The first challenge in Eyeball Selling is discovering who the real decision maker is.’ Jimmi meets his challenge in an unorthodox (not necessarily recommended) way. Right after ‘Good afternoon, gentlemen and ladies,’ he says something slightly confusing. Why? Because the surprised group doesn’t know how to react. So their heads all twirl like weather vanes on a windy day to look at – guess who – the honcho, the heavyweight, the head man or woman. Now Jimmi’s got his decision maker so he can continue Eyeball Selling to that person. (Location 3387)

Tags: selling

Note: .selling understand who the decision maker is

Jimmi also paces the timing of his pitch to match his customers’ covert reactions. When his client reaches for an object, he takes it as a cue to talk slower, or just be quiet. Reaching for a paper clip or fondling a folder on the desk says, ‘I’m thinking about it.’ (Location 3403)

I realized Big Boys and Girls see no bloopers, hear no bloopers. They never say ‘Butterfingers.’ Or ‘Whoops.’ Or even ‘Uh-oh.’ They ignore their colleagues’ boners. They simply don’t notice their comrades’ minor spills, slips, fumbles and blunders. Thus, the technique See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers was born. (Location 3489)

Note: Do not point out bloopers

Technique 79: Lend a helping tongue Whenever someone’s story is aborted, let the interruption play itself out. Give everyone time to dote on the little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the jagged pieces of china. Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the person who suffered story-interruptus, ‘Now please get back to your story.’ Or better yet, remember where they were and then ask, ‘So what happened after the … (and fill in the last few words.)’ (Location 3529)

Note: If a speaker is interrupted, shift conversation back to them after the interruption

When asking someone for a favour, let them know how much it means to you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy of helping you out is often reward enough. Don’t deny them that pleasure! (Location 3571)

Tags: favour

Note: .favour whhen asking foor a favour be clear on how important it is for yoou

Technique 81: Let ’em savour the favour Whenever a friend agrees to a favour, allow your generous buddy time to relish the joy of his or her beneficence before you make them pay the piper. How long? At least twenty-four hours. (Location 3597)

Tags: favour

Note: Give time before actioning the favour

When you do someone a favour and they obviously ‘owe you one,’ wait a few weeks. Don’t make it look like tit for tat. Allow the favour asker the pleasurable myth that you joyfully did the favour with no thought of what you’re going to get in return. (Location 3619)

Tags: favour

Note: .favour dont call in favours immediately

Technique 82: Tit for (wait … wait) tat When people do you favours and it’s obvious ‘they owe you one,’ wait a suitable amount of time before asking them to ‘pay.’ Let them enjoy the fact (or fiction) that you did it out of friendship. Don’t call in your tit for their tat too swiftly. (Location 3622)

Tags: favour

Note: .favour

Technique 83: Parties are for pratter There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The first of these is parties. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big Players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings. (Location 3654)

Tags: parties

Technique 84: Dinner’s for dining The most guarded safe haven respected by Big Winners is the dining table. Breaking bread together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant matters. While eating, they know it’s OK to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business: their dreams, their desires, their designs. They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough business. This convention probably arose out of a prudent agreement not to inflict indigestion on each other. Tough negotiating is unpalatable and can ruin an otherwise perfectly mouthwatering veal chop. (Location 3678)

Note: Do not discuss tough business over dinner

Technique 85: Chance encounters are for chitchat If you’re selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Player. (Location 3699)

Technique 86: Empty their tanks If you need information, let people have their entire say first. Wait patiently until their needle is on empty and the last drop drips out and splashes on the cement. It’s the only way to be sure their tank is empty enough of their own inner noise to start receiving your ideas. (Location 3730)

Technique 87: Echo the EMO Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the EMO is often the only way to calm their emotional storm. (Location 3769)

Whenever you mess up and someone suffers because of it, make sure they come out ahead, way ahead. I call the technique My Goof, Your Gain. (Location 3779)

Tags: mistake

Note: .mistake if you mess up give extra benefits. My goof your gain

My goof, your gain.

Whenever you make a mistake, make sure your victim benefits. It’s not enough to correct your error. Ask yourself, ‘What could I do for this suffering soul so he or she will be delighted I made the flub?’ Then do it, fast! (Location 3786)

Tags: mistake

Note: This reminds me of Mark offering a discount when forgetting to send his customer an invoice for many months

In Japan, some citizens prefer to lose their lives than to lose face. In America, the same death wish exists, with one modification. The Yank dreams of the death of the mortal who made him lose face. Why make enemies? Unless it is your obligation to catch cheaters or entrap liars, let them get away with it. Then immediately get them out of your life and the lives you’re responsible for. Even when the case is open and shut against someone – when you’ve got the rat fink trapped – leave him an escape hatch. (Location 3792)

Note: Let liar get away with it and get them out of your life

Technique 89: Leave an escape hatch Whenever you catch someone lying, filching, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don’t confront the dirty duck directly. Unless it is your responsibility to catch or correct the culprit – or unless you are saving other innocent victims by doing so – let the transgressor out of your trap with his tricky puss in one piece. Then resolve never to gaze upon it again. (Location 3818)

Residents of Toronto, Canada, have a well-earned reputation for grace. They demonstrated it last year in a downtown Toronto drug-store. A shopper attempted to stroll out through the security system with a purloined object in his pocket. Instead of a shrill alarm shattering all shoppers’ eardrums, as in many American cities, a tasteful little chime sounded. A charming voice came across the public address. ‘Excuse us, we have failed to inactivate the inventory control system. Thank you for your patience while you wait for a customer care representative to come help you.’ (Location 3822)

A complimentary letter to someone’s boss – or the promise of one – is a great insurance policy. It’s as good as a written rider that you will be well taken care of in the future.’ (Location 3841)

**Standard letter of thanks for good customer support: ** Dear (name of supervisor), I know how important customer service is to an organization such as yours. This letter is to commend (name of employee). He/She is an example of an (employee title) who gives exceptional customer service. (Name of store or business) continues to have my business thanks in great part to the service given by (name of employee). Gratefully, (signature) (Location 3842)

Tags: praise, customerservice

Note: Customer service recommendation template

Technique 91: Lead the listeners No matter how prominent the Big Cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy cat who is anxious about the crowd’s acceptance. Big Winners recognize you’re a fellow Big Winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive reaction. Be the first to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favours from). (Location 3882)